FUNERAL FOR A TEEN HIT BY A CAR
Preached by David P. Nolte


This afternoon as we honor and celebrate Brianna's life, perhaps you are asking the question, "How could this happen to such a young and happy person?" We have questions about so many things during these times. To be honest, I don't know the full answer to all these questions, but God knows and God cares about each of you and His heart is tender toward you.

Believe me, I, too, feel grief. I have known Brianna's family for many years and I remember her mother when she was 14 and attended this church. I remember also when Brianna was born.

In addition to her mother, Joanne Manning, survivors include her father, Rodney Smith of Phoenix, Arizona; stepfather, Willie Manning of Albany; twin siblings, Zachary and Marissa, 5, of Albany; step-sister, Misty Duncan of Sweet Home; grandparents, Carmen, who Brianna called, "Mama," and Tom Edwards of Albany, Sharon Dickerson of Vancouver Washington, Bruce Smith of Eugene and George and Donna Marrs of Lacomb. There is also her special aunt, Tammy, who she called "Bubba." There are many other relatives and countless friends. My heart truly goes out toward you.

I would never minimize the hurt in your heart, but you need to remember that accidents simply do happen to us. Terrible accidents. Accidents happen because of the world we live in. Looking back on things we might realize that we could have made different decisions and the accidents wouldn't have happened. But we live in a world with many corners that we just can't see around. Decisions have to be made and decisions always have outcomes that just have to be lived with. There is no "undo" in life; we can't go back, so we must go forward with courage.

I understand that you are feeling sad and that you have experienced a great loss. You feel empty, stunned and dazed. Our emotions swing from shock to grief, from hurt to anger, from depression to despair. Our hearts are numbed. Our minds are filled with a buzz of confusion and our spirits are filled with anxiety. We may feel like blaming someone. But this is not a time for blame; that wouldn't bring Brianna back. This is a time to remember a special sunbeam that came into your life in the form of Brianna.

At this time, we will have an open mike for about ten minutes for those who would like to share a memory. There are some ground rules to make this work smoothly. If you will come to the mike, be prepared to share just one memory. I know you have many, but that way there will be opportunity for several to share.

I wish I had a wonderful answer that would take away all the pain. But I don't. All I know is Jesus loves us and we can depend on Him even when we are asking "Why?" and our doubt level is high.

A precious, special little girl filled your life for 14 years, but now is not with you as before and that leaves a huge hole in your hearts. We come to remember her, to remember how important and significant her life was, and we come to say a fond, "farewell."

There are so many good things you remember about Brianna. I could possibly sum it up in the four words her mother said: "Brianna was a sweetheart." She had an enormous heart and a exceptional sense of humor. Brianna loved you and made you laugh and you loved her in return. She was a unique and outstanding girl in many ways.

But let's go back to the beginning. Brianna Niccole Marrs was born on March 6, 1991 in Albany and had lived here all her life. She attended North Albany Elementary School, North Albany Middle School and was currently a freshman at West Albany High School.

Brianna was only 14 years old but her short life impacted countless people in many positive ways. Let's take a few minutes to remember how she lived and touched lives.

You will remember that she was athletic and loved playing volleyball. She was going to get started in softball this season, too. She was a cheerleader and totally enjoyed that. She was a member of the Ultimate Cheer. The thrill of competition and participation was part of her makeup. This tells me that she was energetic, full of life, competitive and a good team player.

She had other interests, too. She loved music of all sorts including country and rap. She loved to dance. She made collages of pictures. She had a tentative goal of going to beauty school and becoming a hairdresser. This suggests that she had an artistic side and was creative.

You will often close your eyes and see Brianna smiling. Her mom said, "She had a great smile; her face lit up a room." And not only did she smile, but she bought many smiles to your faces as well. Mom said, "She was goofy and silly and had a great sense of humor." She loved laughing and making others laugh with her. She was optimistic, pleasant and cheerful. She loved going to the mall and the movies with her friends. Remember as many of the fun, laughing, playing, and even silly times you shared together as you can.

Brianna was outgoing and friendly. She loved hanging out with her best friend, Michael. She was a loyal friend and had many friends as a result. She had a big heart and was concerned about other people, not just about herself. She was compassionate and was welcoming to newcomers. Too many in this world are all out for self and let others take care of themselves. It is refreshing when a young person holds a different view.

Brianna had a mind of her own. That's a good thing, what with sometimes not too wholesome peer pressure. She could think her thoughts and make her own decisions. She was intelligent and loved chatting with friends on her computer. She was a good student and was just beginning her freshman year at West Albany High School.

It is hard to let her go, but that is something we must learn to do. Not let go of her memory; not let go of the lessons she taught; not let go of loving her. But just realize that everyone born into this world will also have to leave it. I hope you believe there is something beyond the grave. There is a better place. Death is not the end, beyond our valley of tears there is another life, another world. The grave is not the end, but to be with Christ is the beginning. And we need to believe that Brianna is there! With Jesus, in Heaven. No pain, no tears, no suffering and no bad memories.

There are lessons Brianna's death can teach us.

First, we know that life is fragile and can be very short. We are mortal. So live wisely. "Carpe diem!" "Seize the day!" Do today what needs doing today. If there's something you need to make right, do it now. My advice to you all is to take the time you have to love your family and your friends. Plan as if you had 1,000 years and live as if each day were your last. And, take time to get to know Jesus.

Second, we know that we cannot control every event. Things happen that we don't forsee and don't like so we need to accept what life brings us and make the best of it.

Third, we will learn that life does go on. I'm no mind reader, but I'm sure that Brianna would want you to go on living. Don't let her death so darken your heart that you just give up and quit. There is a lot of living to do out there. Do be active in making the most of the life God gives you.

Fourth, we can learn how to express, and live through, grief. Sometimes we cry; sometimes we pray; sometimes we just sit and think and feel the pain. You've experienced a huge hurt and you are going to have to give yourself time to recoup and recover. Grieving is a process. It will feel differently over time and you can help yourself get there by being open to, and honest about, all your feelings and reactions, even ones you think you "shouldn't have." Find a trustworthy and knowledgeable person to talk things over with. But remember that grieving is part of life as much as is joy. Healthy grieving leads to finding a way to hold onto what is cherished and memorable about the person who died and to ultimately find joy in living.

And, fifth, I hope that you learn some lessons about faith and trust. Jesus says,

"DON'T BE TROUBLED. YOU TRUST GOD, NOW TRUST IN ME. THERE ARE MANY ROOMS IN MY FATHER'S HOME, AND I AM GOING TO PREPARE A PLACE FOR YOU. IF THIS WERE NOT SO, I WOULD TELL YOU PLAINLY. WHEN EVERYTHING IS READY, I WILL COME AND GET YOU, SO THAT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE WITH ME WHERE I AM. AND YOU KNOW WHERE I AM GOING AND HOW TO GET THERE." "NO, WE DON'T KNOW, LORD," THOMAS SAID. "WE HAVEN'T ANY IDEA WHERE YOU ARE GOING, SO HOW CAN WE KNOW THE WAY?" JESUS TOLD HIM, "I AM THE WAY, THE TRUTH, AND THE LIFE. NO ONE CAN COME TO THE FATHER EXCEPT THROUGH ME." JOHN 14:1-6 (NLT)

He realizes how heavy your load is and how tired you feel inside. He said,

"COME TO ME, ALL OF YOU WHO ARE WEARY AND CARRY HEAVY BURDENS, AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST. TAKE MY YOKE UPON YOU. LET ME TEACH YOU, BECAUSE I AM HUMBLE AND GENTLE, AND YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. FOR MY YOKE FITS PERFECTLY, AND THE BURDEN I GIVE YOU IS LIGHT." MATTHEW 11:29-30 (NLT)

So, the poem is correct saying,





OUR HEARTS ARE OFTEN HEAVY

AND BURDENED WITH GREAT CARE.

WE FEEL SO WEAK AND HELPLESS,

AND ARE TEMPTED TO DESPAIR.



BUT THERE IS ONE WHO OFFERS

TO COMFORT AND SUSTAIN;

THERE IS ONE WHO KNOWS ABOUT

ALL OUR SORROW AND OUR PAIN.



HE KNOWS ABOUT YOUR SADNESS

AND UNDERSTANDS YOUR CARE!

JESUS WANTS TO GIVE YOU HELP,

AND YOUR EVERY LOAD TO SHARE.



SO BRING HIM YOUR BROKEN HEART,

AND ALL YOUR DEEPEST FEARS.

HE'LL HEAL YOUR WOUNDED SPIRIT,

AND WILL WIPE AWAY YOUR TEARS.



--DAVID P. NOLTE



Young people, let me give you just one word to think about that I am sure can help you. The word is FROG. F-R-O-G: Fully Rely On God - do that and He'll see you through.

























Graveside



One of the most comforting and helpful of all Psalms is the 23rd. It has been translated in many different versions. But the one most poetic and widely loved is the King James Version:



THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD; I SHALL NOT WANT. HE MAKETH ME TO LIE DOWN IN GREEN PASTURES: HE LEADETH ME BESIDE THE STILL WATERS. HE RESTORETH MY SOUL: HE LEADETH ME IN THE PATHS OF RIGHTEOUSNESS FOR HIS NAME'S SAKE. YEA, THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH, I WILL FEAR NO EVIL: FOR THOU ART WITH ME; THY ROD AND THY STAFF THEY COMFORT ME. THOU PREPAREST A TABLE BEFORE ME IN THE PRESENCE OF MINE ENEMIES: THOU ANOINTEST MY HEAD WITH OIL; MY CUP RUNNETH OVER. SURELY GOODNESS AND MERCY SHALL FOLLOW ME ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE: AND I WILL DWELL IN THE HOUSE OF THE LORD FOR EVER. PSALMS 23:1-6 (KJV)



David, the author of that Psalm, knew all about sheep since he had been a shepherd. He knew that sheep are weak, defenseless, vulnerable, easily lost and, to put it bluntly, just plain stupid.



It isn't very flattering to be compared to sheep; but we, too are weak, defenseless, vulnerable, easily lost and sometimes not very smart.



But, fortunately the shepherd knows how to take care of and to provide for and to keep his flock safe. And Jesus is our Good Shepherd.



In this moment when we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, let me emphasize this: We walk through the valley; that is, we don't get stuck there; we come out at the other end in His house. Death is a shadow and shadows are not real and cannot hurt us. Shadows disappear in the light. And Jesus is light.



Walk with Him through this valley; take His hand and let Him lead.



I NEED THEE, LOVING SHEPHERD,

I NEED THY CONSTANT CARE.

SO GUIDE ME ON LIFE'S JOURNEY,

AND ALL THE WAY PREPARE.



I NEED THINE ARMS AROUND ME,

TO HOLD ME LEST I FALL;

O, MORE AND MORE I NEED THEE,

MY ONLY HOPE, MY ALL.