"REALLY LOVING ONE ANOTHER!"

MATTHEW 5:38-48

November is "Appreciation Month" at Eastside Christian Church. Try to find someone to thank or encourage. Look for someone to whom to say, "I value you. I esteem you. I appreciate you." To help promote those attitudes, I will preach a brief series of "One another" sermons. Today we will think about "loving one another." Jesus sets forth at least three aspects of doing that in the Sermon on the Mount as Matthew records it. I will share that text as the message unfolds. I want also to share the story of Frank and Elizabeth Morris, who live in a small Kentucky town. It was December 23, 1982 and they were waiting for their only child, 18 year old Ted, to come home from his part time job in the mall. It was 10:40 p.m. when the call came in that Ted had been in an accident, hit head on by a drunk with 3 times the legal blood-alcohol limit. Ted died that night. Frank and Elizabeth were devastated and their anger escalated when Tommy Paige, the 24 year old drunk driver, was given probation. Elizabeth said her anger was "like a wildfire sweeping down a dry canyon, consuming every part of her." Both she and Frank wanted justice in the form of revenge. Elizabeth fantasized about driving down the road and meeting Tommy. She would imagine running him down, pinning him against a tree, and leaving him to die. She actually did stalk Tommy in an attempt to find him violating his probation so he would end up in prison. What she found out was that she was building her own prison. Her marriage was in jeopardy, her friends were being chased away, she lost her ability to laugh and enjoy life. She needed to learn the first thing Jesus teaches in the text. Perhaps you, and I, need a refresher course in that lesson, too.

• LOVE FORGOES PERSONAL VENGEANCE: VV38-39:
• Let me clarify, first, that this text has nothing to do with the law carrying out its duty to arrest, try, convict and punish criminals. It has nothing to do with minimal self defense if our lives, or someone elses's lives, are truly in jeopardy. Jesus is speaking in terms of personal retaliation or revenge for insults, minor injuries, injustices and aggravations.
• You can well imagine how things would escalate far beyond proportion if every person answered every insult and injury tit for tat. If we hit back for every hit, curse back for every curse, injure back for every injury we end up destroying ourselves in the process.
• It is wise to forgo personal vengeance. If we live to retaliate, if we live for revenge, if getting even is our plan at least 6 complications arise:
• We end up being controlled by the ones we aim to harm. They center in our thoughts, consume our moments, and direct our energies.
• Acid bitterness fills our souls and poisons us.
• Pain is relived and renewed and revisited time after time.
• Other areas of life are blighted and other relationships shrivel and die.
• We destroy our Christian witness.
• We actually shorten our physical lives and can forfeit our eternal lives.
• Regardless of how much you want to get even, no matter how much you feel that you have to settle the score, notwithstanding your feeling that there must be some justice, let the Lord have the final word: "Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, '"Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord.' But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals upon his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:17-21.

Frank and Elizabeth recognized the damage their desire for revenge was doing to their own lives. It took some time, but they finally recalled that God had watched His Only Son die on the Cross as He suffered injustice at the hands of cruel oppressors. They recalled His words, "Father, forgive them; for they don't know what they are doing." They decided that their only hope was to offer forgiveness to the man who had killed their son -- not as an act of feeling, but as an act of the will. As their bitterness healed, they were actually able to meet and to build a relationship with Tommy Paige, their son's killer. I have to tell you honestly, I don't know what I would have done in their place; but I have to tell you honestly that what they did was the Jesus thing, the right thing, the love one another thing. It was certainly more than most of us would think necessary.

• LOVE GOES BEYOND WHAT IS EXPECTED: VV40-42:
• Jesus simply urges us to do more than the unbeliever would do. Do more than the world would do. Do more than your own feelings or desires would have you do. Do what Jesus would do. Do what Jesus actually did.
• Jesus points out the way of kindness, benevolence, mercy, generosity, altruism, sensitivity, tenderness and goodness.
• Jesus urges us to go beyond what is required of us and to do what we choose to do of our own free will:
• Do more than only that with which we are comfortable.
• Do that which takes our eyes off self and onto the other person's needs.
• Do just what Paul said, "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others." Philippians 2:3, 4.
• Stephen Moore, in his poem entitled "The Second Mile," states it this way: Stern Duty said, "Go walk a mile And help thy brother bear his load." I walked reluctant, but meanwhile, My heart grew soft with help bestowed. Then Love said, "Go another mile." I went, and Duty spoke no more, But Love arose and with a smile Took all the burden that I bore. 'Tis ever thus when Duty calls; If we spring quickly to obey, Love comes, and whatsoe`er befalls, We're glad to help another day. The second mile we walk with joy; Heaven's peace goes with us on the road, So let us all our powers employ To help our brother bear life's load."

Nobody would have expected Frank and Elizabeth to forgive Tommy Paige let alone make friends with him! But they did. Had they met him under different circumstances, friendship might have been natural. Maybe he was a nice fellow, a hard worker, a normally responsible person up until he drove drunk and killed their son. That one act rendered him a monster of unspeakable inhumanity. But somehow, with Christ, they learned to love this one who brought them every reason to hate him.

• LOVE INCLUDES THE UNLOVABLE: VV43-48:
• Maybe you say, "Enemies? I have no enemies!" Maybe you say, "I love everybody! I get along with everybody!"
• How about that person who insulted you or gossiped about you and ruined your reputation recently?
• How about the one who got the honor, the promotion, the job you wanted?
• How about the parent or other individual who neglected or even abused you?
• How about that teacher who is on your case and in your face?
• How about the one who betrayed your confidence and shared your secret with the world?
• How about the unfaithful or abusive spouse who demolished your marriage?
• How about that obnoxious fellow who thinks he is your best friend and just won't keep out of your life?
• How about that one who is always "right" and who always makes you out to be "wrong?"
• How about that neighbor who is such a jerk he ought to be tarred, feathered and ridden out of town on a rail?
• Maybe you say, "Love that guy? Love her? No way, no time! Not in this life! I could never feel love for him! I could never feel love for her!"
• The operative word there is "feel."  But Christian love is not primarily a feeling -- it is an attitude, a decision, a free-will choice.
• It sees a need in the other person and tries to help with it without regard to how we feel.
• It does not keep track of wrongs suffered.
• It does a good turn for a bad turn even if we feel like striking out.
• It has no hidden motive, no selfish agenda, and no will to harm.
• Let's be honest about this: you may never become a bosom buddy or best friends with that someone; you may not go golfing with them -- but if by some chance you do, you will not stomp on their ball! You may not do daily lunch with them, but if by some chance you do lunch, you won't spill coffee in their lap. You may not go on a cruise with them, but if by some chance you do, you won't shove them overboard. You will have a humble, servant attitude; you will accept the weak, you will look for good in others, you will offer help if they need it, you will act in goodwill and benevolence even if they don't do the same for you. You will pray for their welfare, you will treat them fairly and respectfully. You may not like them emotionally, but you will learn to love them.

Frank and Elizabeth treated Tommy with kindness -- and Frank even baptized him into Christ after awhile. Then he officiated at his wedding. Now they enjoy Christian fellowship in the same congregation -- just because heartbroken parents learned what the Bible means when it says, "Love one another." She said, "I can't tell you how good it felt to get on with life, to laugh again, to finally shake free from that anchor of hate that weighed me down." Jesus asks a pretty outrageous thing, doesn't He? But it is nothing less than He was willing to do. While we were helpless, while we were sinners, while we were enemies He loved us enough to die for us. He set the example and if we would be His disciples we must learn to love as He loved and to love with His love as He produces it within us. The world talks a lot about love and knows nothing of it. The only source of real love today is through the church, through the Body of Christ living, serving, helping, lifting, forgiving. Will you be a demonstration of His love? Will you show the world what it is to love one another? Will you prove to be His disciple by your love?  Will you?

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