It is crucial to meet with those who survive at least once in order to get the necessary information. Whether you knew the deceased or not, this is vital.
Then I always print the entire memorial message, poems and Scriptures and all and give a bound copy to spouse, parents, children, and siblings. I provide an unbound copy for them to make more copies if anyone beyond that wishes to have one.
I like to use this order of service for 2 songs:
Prelude
Song #1
Welcome, poem and prayer
Memorial Moments
Song#2
Postlude
For 3 songs:
Prelude
Song#1
Welcome, poem, prayer
Song#2
Memorial Moments
Song#3
Postlude
General Outline For Message:
Sometimes I begin with:
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
OR:
Psalm 90:10
OR:
*** was born on _________ to ____________________ in.
Early childhood, youth, and young adult information:
Where grew up
Where educated and level achieved
Youth activities: sports, music, drama, clubs
Commendation for military service, if any
Marriage, if any:
Love came along and ______________ was united in marriage to _____________ on ____________ in ______________.
OR:
The path of ______________ life met and merged with the path of ________________ life and they were united in marriage on _________________ in _____________.
OR:
Those who find a worthy mate are truly blessed. *** was blessed when he / she met and was married to _____________. They entered into the blessed covenant of marriage on ___________________ in ___________________.
Then I move to:
What *** was good at
What personality traits were noteable
What *** enjoyed or liked doing
What *** contributed to society and to you (lessons taught, gifts given, example set, etc)
What *** held as his philosophy or value system of life
What *** did for a vocation
You will rember *** for _______________ and ________________ and ______________. Go on remembering, and loving, and being grateful for the time you had together.
Then I move to Passages of Scripture appropriate to the need:
Christian Passages for the believer; passages of hope and eternal life; Gospel promise passages.
"God loves you and wants to help you" passages for those who survive but the deceased was not a Christian
Some words of application for each text, or a brief message on the bevity of life, or things God wants you to know, or how we can handle grief or something else appropriate.
Then I close with some poem and prayer.