"SEARCH MY HEART LORD!"
Written and preached by David P. Nolte


PSALM 139:23-24

Television actress Jennifer Love Hewitt was invited to participate in a carnival for Tuesday's Child, an organization that helps children with the AIDS virus. She was asked to attend because of a television show; she went because she cared. She didn't think that most of the kids recognized her as a celebrity. They just thought of her as a big kid who came to play with them for the day and Jennifer liked it better that way. At the carnival they had all kinds of booths. She was drawn to one in particular. At this booth, anyone who wanted to could paint a square. Later that square was going to be sewn together with the others, to make a quilt. They gave everyone fabric paints in bright, beautiful colors and asked the kids to paint something that would make the quilt beautiful. As Jennifer looked around at all the squares, she saw pink hearts and bright blue clouds, beautiful orange sunrises and green and purple flowers. The pictures were all bright, positive and uplifting. All except for one. The boy sitting next to her was painting a heart, but it was dark, empty, lifeless. It lacked the bright, vibrant colors that his fellow artists had used. At first she thought maybe he took the only paint that was left and it just happened to be dark. But when Jennifer asked him about it, he said his heart was that color because his own heart felt dark. As I read the Psalm and as I think of David's life, I think that at various times of life David, too, could have said his heart felt dark.

  1. DAVID REALIZED THE POTENTIAL OF HIS HEART TO SIN:
    1. There is no swagger, no braggadocio, no boast of his purity. There is no self-deception, self-righteousness or self-adulation. David had just pronounced his disdain of the wicked and then says, "Lord, check to see if any of that is in me!"
    2. Note other statements David made in reference to his susceptibility to sin:
      1. Psalms 19:13 "Also keep back Thy servant from presumptuous sins; Let them not rule over me; Then I shall be blameless, And I shall be acquitted of great transgression."
      2. Psalms 38:4 "For my iniquities are gone over my head; As a heavy burden they weigh too much for me."
      3. Psalms 40:12 "For evils beyond number have surrounded me; My iniquities have overtaken me, so that I am not able to see; They are more numerous than the hairs of my head; And my heart has failed me."
    3. Surely David could remember sinful, painful times in his life:
      1. He could still recall the violation of God's Law, the breaking of marriage covenant, the tossing away of morality when he committed adultery with Bathsheba.
      2. He could still relive the horror of virtually ordering her husband's murder to cover his own moral lapse!
      3. He could still remember his feeble attempt to hide his sin from man, from himself and from God!
      4. He could still recoil under the stinging rebuke of Nathan the prophet as he exposed David's culpability in the matter!
      5. He could now recognize how inclined he was to sin just like those around him whom he found so odious. He cherished no false illusions of sinlessness!
    4. We ought all to recognize the tendency of our own heart to sin! Sin in the heart is not the exception, it is the rule! It is not the anomaly but the norm!
      1. Genesis 6:5 "Then the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great on the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually."
      2. Jeremiah 17:9 "The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?"
      3. John Bunyan put it this way, "Sin and corruption would bubble up out of my heart as naturally as water bubbles up out of a fountain. I thought now that everyone had a better heart than I had. I could have changed hearts with anybody. I thought none but the devil himself could equalize me for inward wickedness and pollution of mind. I fell, therefore, at the sight of my own vileness, deeply into despair, for I concluded that this condition in which I was in could not stand with a life of grace. Sure, thought I, I am forsaken of God; sure I am given up to the devil, and to a reprobate mind." Bunyan's heart was truly dark at that moment.
The little boy drew a dark heart because his heart felt dark. His was the result of a sadness born of lost hope. David's darkness of heart grew out of his recognition of his constant inclination to sin. No environment is more vicious, none more dangerous, than the dark side of the human heart and its capacity to promote evil. But David wanted it to be different.
  1. DAVID WANTED ALL UNWORTHINESS TO BE ELIMINATED FROM HIS HEART:
    1. The Hebrew word translated "hurtful" in the NASB, "offensive" in the NIV, and "wicked" in the KJV literally means, "idolatrous!" Now, there are many things that can be idolatrous. They are all hurtful to us and offensive to God. They are all unworthy:
      1. Worship of self: Vanity, pride, conceit and arrogance, a smug sense of superiority.
      2. Worship of things: Worldliness, materialism, greed.
      3. Worship of fleeting pleasure: Unrestrained sex, use of illicit drugs, addiction to alcohol.
      4. Worship of independence: Rebellion, Godless self-determination and self-realization.
      5. Worship of recognition: Seeking popularity, fame, and acceptance at any cost.
    2. Bunyan said, "I find to this day 7 abominations in my heart:
      1. Inclinings to unbelief
      2. Suddenly to forget the love and mercy that Christ manifesteth;
      3. A leaning to the works of the law;
      4. Wanderings and coldness in prayer;
      5. To forget to watch for that I pray for;
      6. Apt to murmur because I have no more, and yet ready to abuse what I have;
      7. I can do none of these things which God commands me, but my corruptions will thrust in themselves; when I do good, evil is present with me."
    3. David saw an inclination to those things and more and prayerfully wanted them eliminated from his heart!
    4. So, how is it with you? Do you sense the sin in your heart? Do you hate it with a Godly loathing? Do you want it removed as the spiritual cancer it is? When you look at your own heart, honestly and dispassionately, what do you see?
As Jennifer looked at the heart the little boy drew, she saw the darkness and misery it depicted. She couldn't see into the heart of the little boy, but she recognized his pain. God looks at the heart. His X-Ray of our inner man reveals thoughts and motives, attitudes and desires. David knew that and he prayed for God's inspection of that innermost part of his being.
  1. DAVID PERCEIVED THAT GOD DOES INDEED SCRUTINIZE THE HEART:
    1. David clearly knew that God sees us as we are, on the inside, in our innermost being. Listen to God's word on this issue:
      1. Psalms 7:9 "O let the evil of the wicked come to an end, but establish the righteous; For the righteous God tries the hearts and minds."
      2. Psalms 44:21 "Would not God find this out? For He knows the secrets of the heart."
      3. Proverbs 5:21 "For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord, And He watches all his paths."
      4. Proverbs 15:3 "The eyes of the Lord are in every place, Watching the evil and the good."
      5. Proverbs 21:2 "Every man's way is right in his own eyes, But the Lord weighs the hearts."
      6. In other words, He sees the thoughts, motives, attitudes, desires, plans.
    2. You can fool some of the people all of the time, and you can fool all of the people some of the time, but you can't fool God!
    3. How true David's meditation, "O Lord, Thou hast searched me and known me. Thou dost know when I sit down and when I rise up; Thou dost understand my thought from afar. Thou dost scrutinize my path and my lying down, And art intimately acquainted with all my ways. Even before there is a word on my tongue, Behold, O Lord, Thou dost know it all." Psalms 139:1-4.
    4. God give us the grace to see our hearts as He does and may He create within us a desire for a new heart.
Jennifer asked the sad little boy why his heart felt so dark and he told her that he was very sick. Not only was he very sick, but his mom was very sick also. He said that his sickness was not ever going to get better and neither was his mom's. He looked straight into her eyes and said, "There is nothing anyone can do that will help. " Jennifer told him that even if other people may not be able to make him or his mom better they can do things like give bear hugs. She told him that she would be happy to give him one. He instantly crawled into her lap and she thought her own heart would burst with the love she felt for this sad little boy. He sat there for a long time and then he jumped down to finish his coloring. Jennifer asked him if he felt any better and he said that he did, but he was still sick and nothing would change that. As the day was coming to an end and she was getting ready to head home, she felt a tug on her jacket. She turned around and standing there with a smile on his face was the little boy. He said, "My heart is changing colors. It is getting brighter. I think those bear hugs really do work." On her way home she felt her own heart and realized it, too, had changed to a brighter color. God wants to do that very thing in each of our lives. He wants our hearts to cease being dark, and to become light. In order for that to happen, you must recognize your propensity to sin, you must desire a new heart devoid of offense to God and you must know that He sees your innermost being. Then cry out with David, "Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me." Psalms 51:10. God will surely answer that prayer. If you put your faith in Jesus Christ God will give a new heart.

Jennifer Love Hewitt actress, Party of Five, via Chicken Soup For The Teenage Soul, Canfield, Hansen and Kirberger, Health Communications, Inc., Deerfield Beach, Florida, Bunyan from Rebuilding Your Broken World, by Gordon MacDonald.

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