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Why a Beer is Better Than a Man

  1. A beer NEVER leaves the toilet seat up.
  2. A beer lasts longer than seven seconds.
  3. A beer won't expect you to cook dinner when you're not hungry.
  4. A beer will never expect you to sit in the wet spot IT makes.
  5. A beer doesn't care if you go shopping.
  6. A beer doesn't mind when your mother visits.
  7. A beer does as many chores as a man, with a LOT less complaining.
  8. Having a beer can't make you pregnant.
  9. A beer won't tease you because you once liked Barry Manilow.
  10. If a beer had a sports car, it wouldn't love it more than you.
  11. A beer doesn't want to go out alone with the other beers.
  12. A beer doesn't sulk.
  13. A beer wouldn't waste its money on Playbeer magazine.
  14. A beer won't switch the TV channel.
  15. A beer doesn't have to sleep with the windows open.
  16. A beer doesn't snore.
  17. A beer can't interrupt.
  18. A beer doesn't care that you can't find your car's carburetor.
  19. A beer doesn't think black leather bikinis are neat.
  20. A beer doesn't belch. Or fart.
  21. A beer doesn't mind having pantyhose dry in the bathroom.
  22. A beer doesn't care that you don't balance your checkbook.
  23. A good beer is easy to find.
  24. A beer can't pout.
  25. A beer doesn't have a mother.
  26. A beer doesn't have friends who will drink your beer.
  27. A beer wouldn't yell if you dented the car.
  28. A beer won't get jealous if you enjoy another beer.
  29. A beer won't care if you gain five pounds.
  30. A beer will be there for anytime of the month.
  31. A beer doesn't want children.
  32. A beer doesn't think poetry is queer.
  33. A beer isn't ready until you're ready.
  34. If the beer is finished before you are, you can have another beer.
  35. Hangovers go away.
  36. A beer tastes good.
  37. Having a beer doesn't make you want to take a shower.
  38. A beer will never invite friends home for dinner without calling.
  39. A beer's life does not revolve around the football.
  40. A beer would never make fun of your new outfit.
  41. A beer never needs a shave.
  42. You don't have to let a beer win.
  43. A beer doesn't care what toppings you get on the pizza.
  44. Just because you have dinner with a beer doesn't mean you
  45. have to sleep with a beer too.
  46. A beer doesn't have morning breath.
  47. A beer is happy to go where ever you want to go.
  48. A beer will never drink the last beer.
  49. A beer will never take the newspaper apart before you've read it.
  50. When a beer is finished, it doesn't roll over and go to sleep.
  51. A beer wouldn't mind if you wanted it to wear a condom.
  52. A beer is never temperamental.
  53. A beer will never complain about your cooking.
  54. A cold beer is a good beer.
  55. A beer will never worry about losing its hair.
  56. A big, fat beer is nice to have.
  57. A beer won't steal the covers.
  58. You don't have to laugh at a beer's jokes.
  59. A beer won't mind at all if you're not in the mood for beer.

Why Beer's Better Than A Woman